At a recent meeting the idea was brought up that people should “just use common sense.”

This is applicable in just about any situation; whether it’s making sure one is clothed prior to frying bacon or not trying to inhale whilst at the bottom of a pool. 

Unfortunately common sense is a commodity in short supply. Which probably explains why it is so valuable. 

If people had common sense, would Robert Pattenson of “Twilight” fame of been cast as Batman? Would “Tiger King” have become a hit television show? Would methamphetamines still have the popularity they do?

The answer to these questions and many others if common sense were applied is an emphatic, “NO!”

If the future survival of society is dependent on the average person’s common sense level, we’re doomed. 

Take for example the popularity of bottled water in the United States. The vast majority of people live in areas where the water is potable. It’s the fundamental job of most municipal governments to provide clean culinary water. 

No, our society is buying a pre-packaged version of something that comes out of the tap for free. 

In fact, studies (real studies mind you, not just stuff I made up to be funny) have shown bottled water is no better for you than tap water, and in some many cases has plastic particles in it that can contribute to you dying. 

When the coronavirus hit, one of the things that there was a run on was bottled water, even though scientists have yet to connect COVID-19 to taps drying out.

Since people still buy bottled water with regularity, clearly they can’t be trusted to employ the concept of common sense. 

Fortunately, we have elected leaders in our country who show us the way. 

You know the ones I mean. 

Leaders who approve things like lobbyists in our capital buildings, roundabouts in our roads and an income tax form that requires the use of a computer or a hired expert to fill out. 

If a person runs the risk of going to jail for filling something out wrong, wouldn’t common sense dictate it be simple to complete?

Common sense would say it should be easy to avoid federal prosecution without hiring outside help. 

Take for example another crime for which you could go to prison, like murder. All you have to do is not murder anyone, and in most cases you’ll not get convicted of it — easily avoided. Unlike the tax code, the no murdering law is based on common sense. 

However, in the year 2020, there are still people who believe the Earth is flat, vaccination for polio is a government plot and Cardi B is a musician. 

If people had common sense, I wouldn’t break out into a sweat every time I drive more than a block from my home. 

Yet you can’t even go to a grocery store during a pandemic without someone hitting your vehcile. I came out the other day to find a SUV French kissing my front grill. 

A tie-dyed wearing woman was in the driver’s seat.

With some expletives deleted so we can remain a family friendly newspaper, I said the following — 

“Are you kidding me?”

“Huh, what?” 

“You hit my car. Your car is touching my car.”

“Oh, really. I didn’t know.”

“Could you back it up so I can see if there is any damage?”


So of course she put her SUV in drive, pushing it further into my car, which at the very least should make a sexual harassment complaint #MeToo. 

Thankfully once I explained the concept of “reverse” I was able to see through grace of a higher power there wasn’t any visible damage. 

I went home and drank a whole bottle of water before I calmed down.

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