I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of this wash your hands for 20 minutes thing. 

Seriously, I’m running out of soap, my skin is wearing off and by the time I get done washing them, I have to go to the bathroom again and it all starts over. 

That’s when I realized; I had misread the instructions — 20 seconds. Wow, that’s so much easier!

Seriously, if there were ever a generation prepared for the coronavirus crisis, it’s this one. 

For years befuddled parents have plead, begged and threatened their teens to “get off your phone.” It’s entirely plausible to assume some people between the ages of 16 and 23 haven’t had a face-to-face interaction with another human in years. 

Yes, my children’s generation communicates almost exclusively through Snaps, Tweets, likes, vines, selfies, texts, Instagrams, Googlies, memes and Tic Toks. By the way, I only made up one of those. 

If any generation was designed for social distancing, isolation and self-quarantining, it’s our children. 

Officials from various governments, churches, schools, medical fields and Boy Scout troops have made the case to our children that they need to stay home and stay safe. 

So of course now they’ve all decided it’s time to socialize with their friends. 

Plus it’s getting weird. 

Such as the other day my son said he was going to go for a ride with his friend, and reflexively I started to give a lecture parents have given for years, albeit for different reasons.  

“You never can be too careful, there’s lots of viruses out there. Remember it’s not just your friend, it’s everyone your friend has associated with, and everyone those people have associated with. I just don’t think this is moral,” I said. “Do you at least have protection?”

I scrounged around the house looking for facemasks, gloves and a hazmat suit, but I haven’t used any of that stuff in months.

The social escapades of the area’s teenagers — before the governor’s stay at home order — resulted in my son going from Monroe one day to Aurora the next. 

I finally put my foot down and made him read the governor’s order. 

Now I have this sense of guilt. 

We’ve been trying to get kids off of their screens so they can be more active for years, and now this crisis hits and what do we do?

Make them sit down and do homework in front of a screen for hours a day. Tell them they can’t go out with their friends, but if they want to video chat with them they can. 

No, you can’t go play baseball with your team, but you can stay at home in a dark room and have a Fast and Furious movie marathon. 

Everything we’ve been telling our kids not to do for years, we need them to do it now. In response, they are now giving us grief because, perhaps for for the first time ever, they actually want to go out, socialize and be active.

Instead, now we’re all at home on our devices eating up the informational sewage that makes up 99.78 percent of social media. 

Ah, Facebook, you never disappoint with the constant stream of politicizing, shaming and virtual virtue signaling. Not everything is terrible on social media. One post I read basically said, “Hey, I love baseball, but teams need to stop practicing together for the time being.” 

One individual posted in response to the call for social distancing to protect the most vulnerable in society, “SORRY but it is not the fast that eat the slow ,, It’s the strong that prevail.”

The unconventional use of the double comma and incorrect capitalization not withstanding, that will be the dumbest thing you read all day. 

Yes, even dumber than some guy claiming he was washing his hands for 20 minutes.

Follow David Anderson on 

Twitter at twitter.com/cruizerdave

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