The modern world is designed with all this stuff that is supposed to help us save time, enhance our entertainment and make life more convenient. 

Take for example our smart phones. We have virtually any information at our fingertips, yet the most searched keywords on Google this year have included terms like “Facebook,” “You Tube” and “Google” — or as they are known by employers “Time Waster,” “Time Waster by Video” and “Google.”

Really people of the world, you Googled Google? That’s like looking up the word “dictionary” in the dictionary. If you have a dictionary and you still need to look it up for any reason, I have news that might be surprising — you’re an idiot. Also, if you don’t own a dictionary … well … it’s not looking good for you. 

Thus the race to self-driving cars is on as Elon Musk at Tesla and whoever is at Ford are trying their best to take one of the simple pleasures of life away from us. 

Look, I get why someone invented the dishwasher, because other than Lenin, no one likes doing the dishes. The same is true for the self-mopping floor, self-cleaning toilet and robot vacuum. Oh wait, what’s that you say? They only have one of those things and it does a terrible job? 

Well then, it only makes sense that we are using the mystical powers of science to eliminate something many people enjoy rather than solving a real problem, like the self-mopping floor. 

What’s the point of Tesla making an electric car that can hit 200 mph if a computer that obeys all traffic laws at all times is driving? 

It’s just one more example of how the innovators of the modern world are failing us. It’s almost 2020 — we’re supposed to have flying cars, not self-driving cars. 

Next they’re going to invent devices that eliminate your ability to taste food, see a sunset and feel human touch. 

Of course if they’d invent a machine that would watch movies and television shows for me, I wouldn’t be opposed to it. I always feel left out when people are talking about the latest episode of “This Is Us” or “A Million Little Things,” which I thought were the same show.

While access to an endless supply of entertainment is easier than ever, I find it harder and harder to actually watch any of it.

Maybe once or twice a month I’ll think, “I have a few hours to kill, I should watch a movie.” Then I jump down the rabbit hole of what I should watch. Pick an old favorite? Or select one of the dozen or so films I’ve wanted to see but haven’t? 

I don’t want to waste my movie time on something I don’t like, so I’ll check out the reviews. Soon I’m watching Internet videos of people who should probably have real jobs, but don’t, talking about movies. 

Before I know it, thanks to my scrolling through movies, reading about movies and watching other people talk about movies, I’m out of time. When I was a kid, you just rented the VHS tape and watched it from beginning to end. It didn’t matter if it was good or not, because you had paid $3 for one night and you were obligated. It was like gambling. 

In a way it was a good thing. Sometimes you discovered “The Untouchables,” the Brian DePalma classic with Robert DeNiro as Al Capone. Other times you ended up with “Robot Jox,” a science fiction “epic” produced for less than the cost of a 20-year-old Buick. It was also about as entertaining as watching that Buick rust on the front lawn.

But even watching the terrible movies taught you valuable lessons about quality, disappointment and the art of the grift. 

No technology can take the place of that.

Follow David Anderson on 

Twitter at twitter.com/cruizerdave

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